So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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