we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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