Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
