Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize