Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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