doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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