Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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