the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
