So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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