So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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