how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
