i already hear my dad disowning me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you never un-have a 4some
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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