i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
