I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras