Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
where am i from again
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
