You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Edward fifth and chaser hands
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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