Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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