if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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