I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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