you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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