Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I forget how to act sober
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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