this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
