I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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