I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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