I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
