Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
