I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
