Please, let me fuck your mom
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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