I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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