I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
