I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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