I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
