First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
