the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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