You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
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No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
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Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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