i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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