I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
