I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have aggressive nipples.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
