it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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