...so i touched it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
