We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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