we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize