perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
