I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
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the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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