She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
