watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Im part way to drunk.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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