At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
