I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
