I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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