I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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