he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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