I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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