Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
