just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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