The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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