I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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