Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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