Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
